Memoirs of Me

Life bends in a way to make you break your rigid mold. It forces you to fold. All your cards on the table for everyone to see.  Sometimes that humbling fold distorts you beyond recognition just so that you have no choice but to build again into a sturdier version of you.      I say that because I was engaged to a quality fella I had been with for 6 years. 2 years long distance but when my dad passed. Life became too real. Too precious to waste. Too real to just exist in. You evaluate your life in a way that forces you to really decide what you stand for.       Then Peter came into my life. I told him and I still tell him everyday when he walked into my life I felt like I had just been woken from an endless dream. Not a bad dream, just a hazy fog of being. I had been conditioned to believe that at best you find a partner in life that you work well with. Boy, was I wrong. I had muddied my way through trying to match my expectations of love with the realities of life.       Most people d

 It’s been years! It’s been lifetimes. As I’ve grown in age I’ve learned that my world view has become sort of a kaleidoscope. Gradually, slowly changing shape yet suddenly entirely new. Yet it’s all still the same colors shifting and rearranging offering new light, new interest, renewed regard for what’s always been in front of me. A gradual rearrangement yielding new impression. A different vantage point offering new perspective and each vantage point adding to the overall landscape. Evoking a sense of understanding and knowing if only for the fact that I can appraise the entirety of it all to a degree I hasn’t been aware of before.  I started my nursing career at the beginning of a global pandemic. I graduated December 2019, became board certified January 2020, started working in a hospital February 2020 and March 2020 all hell broke loose. I feel I’ve grown light years since becoming a nurse, experiencing others trauma, others loss and truly TRUELY understanding the fragility of li