Don't Adapt!
I've currently been pondering ideas surrounding the longevity of relationships. I realize being in a relationship is just as hard as being single. One you have to care about another persons feelings, wants, and expectations the other you have way too much time to think about your own feelings, wants and expectations!
I came to the conclusion, as I usually do, that people are just inclined to adapt to their environments which is beneficial in so many ways but I've keyed into an aspect where its actually a disadvantage.
When you first start a relationship you're enthralled, elated, and over joyed you found someone who just gets you (If their the right one). You as a couple blend effortlessly and you're just so glad to finally find someone who works well with you. You've found your long lost other. The Dr.Kirk to your Spock (have emotion!) The Desi to your Lucy (pre-divorce)! The Lewis to your Clark -- the missing sock in your laundry basket! The give to all your take.
Then after awhile your effortless cohesion goes unnoticed because everything becomes seamless as if its always just kind of been that way. You pay never mind to the fact that they weren't always there. You didn't always have them. You used to be alone and you have just adapted to the idea of them being there.
Realizing this truth helps me keep myself in check when ever I tend to take my relationship and all the good that comprises it for granted. Unfortunately this does happen from time to time because I'm human and it is in my nature to adapt to my environment and by adapt I mean settle so comfortably into the circumstances that comprise my current state that it doesn't get a second thought
This past Monday was Logan's and my 1st year together. It went by way too quick and I'm realizing maintaining a happy healthy relationship requires effort.
Another pearl of wisdom I've acquired in the greatest act of love is just accepting your partner as they are. For me and I'm sure many girls you want to help mold your significant other into their best self and although to us its an investment in them as people. I know I for one can come off critical and thats not what helps people. Positive encouragement helps and that's whats effective.
So if you love 'em accept them as who they are because after all isn't that what we all want. Just to be ourselves and be loved for it?
I'm one for refinement and I think finding someone who is big on self improvement was key for me. I never ask for perfection rather progress.
I came to the conclusion, as I usually do, that people are just inclined to adapt to their environments which is beneficial in so many ways but I've keyed into an aspect where its actually a disadvantage.
When you first start a relationship you're enthralled, elated, and over joyed you found someone who just gets you (If their the right one). You as a couple blend effortlessly and you're just so glad to finally find someone who works well with you. You've found your long lost other. The Dr.Kirk to your Spock (have emotion!) The Desi to your Lucy (pre-divorce)! The Lewis to your Clark -- the missing sock in your laundry basket! The give to all your take.
Then after awhile your effortless cohesion goes unnoticed because everything becomes seamless as if its always just kind of been that way. You pay never mind to the fact that they weren't always there. You didn't always have them. You used to be alone and you have just adapted to the idea of them being there.
Realizing this truth helps me keep myself in check when ever I tend to take my relationship and all the good that comprises it for granted. Unfortunately this does happen from time to time because I'm human and it is in my nature to adapt to my environment and by adapt I mean settle so comfortably into the circumstances that comprise my current state that it doesn't get a second thought
This past Monday was Logan's and my 1st year together. It went by way too quick and I'm realizing maintaining a happy healthy relationship requires effort.
Another pearl of wisdom I've acquired in the greatest act of love is just accepting your partner as they are. For me and I'm sure many girls you want to help mold your significant other into their best self and although to us its an investment in them as people. I know I for one can come off critical and thats not what helps people. Positive encouragement helps and that's whats effective.
So if you love 'em accept them as who they are because after all isn't that what we all want. Just to be ourselves and be loved for it?
I'm one for refinement and I think finding someone who is big on self improvement was key for me. I never ask for perfection rather progress.
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