Memoirs of Me

I’m currently reading The Bright Hour a memoir about the great great great granddaughter of Ralph Waldo Emerson’s journey through terminal cancer breast cancer. She’s a mother of two young boys and her own mother also has terminal myeloma. I got to the cremation portion of the novel and bawled my eyes out but I don’t think it’s just the novel I think it’s everything going on in my life. I moved to Boise Idaho this summer to start a RN program and started my rotation of clinicals as well as work at the regional hospital. Having been a student nurse at a long term care facility I’ve gotten a chance to care for people who can’t care for themselves and so memiors like the one I’m reading are more to me now than ever. I see people struggling with illnesses fairly frequently. Being home for the holidays made me appreciative but also made me come to terms with my dad’s health. He’s got end stage renal disease and does home dialysis so I helped tidy up his area where her does 10 hrs of dia...

Love the one you're with-- it's as simple and as difficult as that. I've done my research. I've been trying my best to make sure I don't mess this up. Make sure  I don't let this get messed up. Just make sure I don't, as I always do set in motion the events that would lead to the down fall of one of the best relationships I've had in my life. He's not perfect trust me he drives me insane sometimes but I respect him. I understand him and for these reasons I love him. It's very hard to understand that sometimes in life making it last means letting go of constantly trying to make it "perfect" and just being part of it all. I think once you start trying to understand why you're drawn to a certain person you lose the essence of magic that makes life as beautiful as it is. That attraction, that magic is so precious we want to hold on so dearly to it because we KNOW it's real. It's real and we want it with us always. When th...

Before I met my guy. Recently my second eldest brother has been having a lot of marital issues. He has a little daughter that is 3 named Isabel and has been with his wife for 10 years. I love Izzy very much as she's the youngest of all 6 of my nieces and nephews. I was talking to my mom about the bad lucky my brother has had in love. My mom says my brother has always been the forgiving type and although he has a tough exterior he really has a big heart.  Growing up we fought like cats and dogs and I will admit it was a source of enjoyment to pester him while he was playing video games. That's probably translated into one of my annoying traits in adulthood I'm almost certain. My eldest sister also had a rough patch as well until she met her husband, before she was a single mother of two and probably dated guys worse than I have. She probably loved a little harder than me because she didn't have an older sister she witnessed having her heart broken like I did to scare...

I came to the conclusion real love is only for a few The few that recognize their faults and can accept themselves as they are, because without that singular skill  how can you expect to love another equally flawed to perfection person? Love isn't for the ones that cant accept life in its all its nitty gritty glory. What makes it 1000x's harder is you need to find another person with this skill to make it right-- to make it last--and to make it enjoyable. That being said, the hardest part is the accepting bit .

I've currently been pondering ideas surrounding the longevity of relationships. I realize being in a relationship is just as hard as being single. One you have to care about another persons feelings, wants, and expectations the other you have way too much time to think about your own feelings, wants and expectations! I came to the conclusion, as I usually do, that people are just inclined to adapt to their environments which is beneficial in so many ways but I've keyed into an aspect where its actually a disadvantage. When you first start a relationship you're enthralled, elated, and over joyed you found someone who just gets you (If their the right one). You as a couple blend effortlessly and you're just so glad to finally find someone who works well with you. You've found your long lost other. The Dr.Kirk to your Spock (have emotion!) The Desi to your Lucy (pre-divorce)! The Lewis to your Clark -- the missing sock in your laundry basket!  The give to all your ...

My favorite author of all time, Oscar Wilde. I love his "smart ass" characters they're charming and entertaining and provoke oneself to marvel at the relevancy of their fastidiousness. My most recent and most beloved read thus far The Ideal Husband. It's a play about a couple who are happily married and in love. The gentleman is the most upright man you could imagine, however, as the play progresses his transgressions begin to air. The wife is confronted with the idea that her husband isn't the man she dreamed him to be. I love Oscar Wilde because he touches on so many things that seem so relevant today. I imagine the concerns for society's lack of substance was an issue at the time when the world was entering the industrial age and consequentaly becoming more of what it is today. These changes in the way of life presented itself in the outliers of society and now it's proliferated throughout the modern world and has become the modus operandi. What Wil...

Except for when there are but they're not in English. Language plays a huge role in how we communicate. It trips me out how completely sensitive we are to phrasing and how often time conflicts don't arise from actual events but misunderstandings.  I went to Shay's mothers funneral her name is Sharon and I only knew her from the phone calls I received in HR when she called for Shay when things were not going well after her surgery to remove tumors. She would say "oh if she's busy please don't bother her". That wasn't the directive I received from Shay. Her mother lived with her and she took care of her, missing countless days from work to make sure her mom was as comfortable as she could be for a woman in her position.  Chelsea who is the Benefits Specialist in HR is also a musician on the side. I got to work with Chelsea from time to time and she was there piano and voice ready to sing Shay's mama up to heaven.  Shay's niece made the most beaut...